Dear Single Sister,
I didn’t want you to sweat away your strength because we have loads of talk and time, so I brought this table and chairs under a comfortable shade.
I must really be grateful for this time you have committed to this discussion.
Dear sister, it was not easy watching you from a distance without apt opportunity to talk to you. I must begin by admiring you. I have lots of things I admire about you, I admire your beauty, I admire the much you could do as a single, I admire your strength and courage, and I admire your commitment. I know you are not perfect and only walk towards perfection, which is why I am not here for judgements 😳.
To tell you how fallible, I am too, I must tell you little about myself. I gained admission into the University when I was past 20, though it was not the much I planned for myself. I had planned life the way I wanted it to go, as if I was God🤣. I had even fixed dates for certain important events, even before I was sure I could live till then. Sometimes, due to the dates and seasons I imposed on myself, I had to work under duress. I achieved some, lost some and never achieved some. I was lost in self pity, I lost my strength in unnecessary struggle and I even locked horn with frustration and depression because I wanted to meet up with the time I had set for myself and till date, I am yet to achieve some, I messed up big time! I am still cleaning some mess.
Dear sister, is there something you want to tell me? I ask because, I have noticed certain things about you.
Sometimes, it is as if you work to meet a deadline, some other times, it is as if you are on a race with someone. You know, most times when I tried to understand you, you act as if you are carrying the whole world on your shoulders; frustrated and desperate.
Aunty, what is the problem? Could you please discuss with me? I could be a true confidante, you know🥰
If you don’t want to say anything, then, I guess all these melodrama is about YOU, STILL BEING SINGLE. Well, I have always assumed it could be the problem and now, I am sure.
Aunty, you know what made me perfectly assume your problem? It is because, I have watched you compromise your Christian faith, since you felt that what you expected to happen for you in the church seem to be happening faster and better in the world.
Aunty, I saw you dressed to kill last night, I guess you eventually obliged Sam a nice moment at the club. I have watched you bend God’s standard rules for your life because you felt it is no longer in your favour, I have more often than not seen you in Emeka’s car, I saw you in Jude’s shop this afternoon and I have as well seen you at Sam’s house sometime ago. I do understand you keep these three men because, you feel time has been long spent.
I have watched you smile at things you used to frown at; he slapped your breast and bum and you smiled at him feeling that if you don’t loosen up, he won’t give you the ring,
Aunty, I have also seen you seated comfortably in the midst of scornful because you feel they are the custodian of the right information to getting a man walk you down the aisle, you have given up the relationship you once had with God for a relationship with Kunle, now, Kunle has got you pregnant.
You committed your first abortion, and you are dressed to go back to your Doctor of doom for your 5th abortion, because Nuhu has promised you a society wedding, if only you abort the child and give him a little more time to get more money, I saw you smile and say it was alright. “After all, it was just an embryo” you said and walked into the Doctor’s office.
I remember the first time Stanley kissed you, I saw how much you cried, I saw you apologize for your unruly act, but the second taste of his kiss, romance has been the spice in your relationship, though you console yourself in the fact that there is yet no penetration and you use it to exonerate yourself from being disobedient to God’s law, as if you are still on track with him; do you know that deceit is now lying like a dog a doorstep?
You quit church programmes, quiet time, and godly fellowship because Adeyemi promised you marriage, and you rather miss your quiet time than miss his early morning invitation to his house. Now, he understands how desperate you are for marriage, he has used it as his hook of captivity.
I know how all these started, just like me, you arranged your calendar according to the your needs. When you turned 24, you thought marriage was the last but one item on your calendar, when you turned 29, Bro. Iyke, refused to propose, even when you felt God was saying something. “Dear God, I have waited enough for you, now, let me work things out for myself” this was the last thing you told God on your 30th birthday and since then, you have been on the journey of working things out for yourself.
Dear beautiful sister, how far have you gone already and how easy has it been for you?
Do you remember those ten virgins in the Bible, yes! In the book of Matthew 25?
The foolish and wise virgins your pastor preached about the last time you were in church; 6 months ago? Okay!
Did you hear sister Amaka, read verse 5 aloud?
In case you didn’t, it is here,
“As the bridegroom was DELAYED, all of them became drowsy and slept” Matthew 25:5.
Dear sister, because the bridegroom seemed delayed, you have slept. Look, the oil in your lantern would soon get exhausted. Did you not know that the bridegroom came when they had slept? If a cry come tonight, don’t you think you would have no oil remaining to go see him? Aaah! Aunty, marriage is not all there is to life! What if marriage doesn’t come? So, your whole life essence will hit the brick?
Aunty, instead of sleeping, instead of imposing pressure on yourself, why not go for extra oil now that you still can? why not rest on his words and wait for him?
Look, the difference between the virgins was just Wisdom, and God has said in the scriptures, “He who lacks wisdom, let him ask from me… “.
Why not ask for the Wisdom to remain faithful, waiting in purity and in preparedness for the bridegroom?
Do you still remember that they that wait upon the Lord shall renew there strength, they shall soar on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not faint?
I can’t understand how weak you are already in waiting, but, their access to renewal of your strength. I pray He finds you worthy when he shall come.
Let’s continue to intercede for us, we are on this table together. Let’s pursue purpose and trust Him to do what He does best.